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FIVE THOUSAND WORDS (Lyrics and music by Sharon Neeman)

The clock showed close to quitting time, my desk was almost clear
I thought perhaps I’d slip around the corner for a beer -
But the phone rang and I answered and a friendly voice said Hi!
It was the secretary of a legal firm nearby
She said Oh, please excuse me calling this late in the day
But we have a new petition in a case that’s under way
Can you translate it tomorrow? Any time by five will do
‘Cause we wouldn’t want to give the work to anyone but you

It’s only…Five thousand words for tomorrow at five
I thought I’ll do that easily, I’ll scarcely have to strive
So I smiled and said No problem, I’ll just add it to my bill
And you’ll send a check on Friday? And she said You know we will.
I set to work at eight AM, I cut my lunch date short
By five the stuff was ready to be filed before the Court
I sent it off by email and I made a cup of tea -
And the phone rang and I answered and a lawyer said to me:
I’ve just leafed through your translation and I think it’s very good
And I’d like you to translate an affidavit if you could
It’s the size of that petition… well, perhaps a trifle more
And you know that I’d be grateful if you’d have it in by four

It’s only… Six thousand words for tomorrow at four
I thought I’ll get up early, I’ve a longish day in store
And I shrugged and said No problem, I’ll just add it to my bill
And you’ll send a check on Friday? And he said You know we will.
I hit the desk at seven and I ate my lunch alone
I never touched the Solitaire or gossipped on the phone
At four o’clock I sent it off and shook my weary head
And the phone rang and I answered and the junior partner said:
I really have to thank you for a job superbly done
And I know you’ll be excited ’cause we’ve got another one:
I’ve just written my summation, and you know how glad I’d be
If your excellent translation could be on my desk at three
It’s only… Eight thousand words for tomorrow at three
I thought This won’t be easy but I’ll have the evening free
So I sighed and said No problem, I’ll just add it to my bill
And you’ll send a check on Friday? And she said You know we will.
I started at five-thirty, and my lunch was just a snack
At three I typed the last few words and sent the email back
I flexed my aching fingers and I silently rejoiced
And the phone rang and I answered and the senior partner’s voice said
You really are a wonder, and your talents are unique
In fact, that’s why we’ve kept you very busy all this week
Now, I know that it’s short notice but I must rely on you
For the Judge needs my rebuttal to be on her desk at two

It’s only… Ten thousand words for tomorrow at two
I thought How can I tell him that it’s just too much to do?
But I groaned and said No problem, I’ll just add it to my bill
And you’ll send a check on Friday? And he said You know we will.
I staggered in at four AM, I never ate a bite
But I got it done by two although it was a trifle tight
I was dizzy, I was queasy, and I thought I’d never budge
And the phone rang and I answered and by God it was the Judge!
She said I know you’re tired and I really hate to ask
But there’s no one in the city who can do this one last task
I’ve just handed down my ruling and she gave a modest cough
And at one PM tomorrow the courier takes off

It’s only…Twelve thousand words for tomorrow at one
My mind screamed No, Your Honor! There are things that can’t be done!
But the words came out No problem, I’ll just add it to my bill
And it’s been four months since Friday, and the bastards owe me still!

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